Read Proverbs 5:7–14
Questions from the Scripture text: Whom does Proverbs 5:7 address (cf. Proverbs 4:1)? What does he tell them to do? What does he tell them not to do? But from whom and what should they depart (Proverbs 5:8, cf. Proverbs 5:3—n.b. “immoral” is literally “strange”)? What is risked by romance with a woman who isn’t one’s wife (Proverbs 5:9)? What else (Proverbs 5:10)? What could they end up doing (Proverbs 5:11a)? At what time (verse 11b)? What part of the forbidden romance would they bewail (Proverbs 5:12-13)? In the midst of where would he be “in all evil” (Proverbs 5:14, literal translation)?
Why is hearing so important? Proverbs 5:7–14 looks forward to the sermon in this week’s midweek meeting. In these eight verses of Holy Scripture, the Holy Spirit teaches us that the humility to hear can spare us the horror of wasting our life in contradiction to God’s design and Word.
The humility of hearing, Proverbs 5:6-8. Proverbs 5:6 has taught us the necessity of humility when thinking about the dangers of romance with the strange woman. We “do not know.” We must be kept from even pondering, even considering, such connections and interactions.
But how will this humility be exercised? What is an important way of actually living humbly? Hearing (Proverbs 5:7a). “Therefore, hear,” says the Spirit. Receive words, and then do not depart from them (verse 7b). The words of Scripture, the words of the mouth of this idealized father, put us on one path, and it is a path that completely diverges from the one that we might have otherwise pondered.
If we’re tempted to eat up sweet words (Proverbs 5:3a), and soak up comforting words (verse 3b), of a woman who is not our wife, Scripture words urge us to take practical precautions: change your habits and routines so that you don’t spend time near her (Proverbs 5:8a); resist the temptation to come up with reasons to visit with her (verse 8b). When the heart is inclining toward romance, without the clarity of betrothal identifying her as wife, it’s time to fight against the heart, not indulge it.
The help of hearing, Proverbs 5:9-11. The sweetness and comfort of marriage are part of God’s good design for us. It was not good for the man to be alone, so God gave him a helper that exactly corresponded (that was “meet unto”) him (a helpmeet, cf. Genesis 3:18). No other woman, no other creature, on earth is a man’s helpmeet. Only his wife. How many husbands need to hear that they have an obligation to find their own wife sweet and comforting, to enjoy romance with her, simply because providence has assigned her to him. How many wives need to hear that they have an obligation to enjoy the provision and protection and leadership and treasuring of their own husband, simply because providence has assigned him to her. How many of them ought to make a goal of honey-sweet lips to their own husband, and oil-smooth comforting mouths.
Genesis 2:7–25 take place within Genesis 1:27, and are immediately followed by Genesis 1:28. A husband and wife who rejoice in God’s wisdom by romancing one another are to produce fruit from that marriage by multiplying. But the word for “aliens” in Proverbs 5:10 is the same as the word “strange” in Proverbs 5:3 (which NKJ translated “immoral”). This is all the more urgent after the fall. We have a limited amount of effectiveness (Proverbs 5:9a), time (verse 9b), and health and life (Proverbs 5:11b) in this world. Those years ought to be given to the wife that providence assigns us and to the children that providence gives us by her. Others (Proverbs 5:9a) will not have the same attachment to us; they will not have fifth-commandment-commitment to caring for us—the lack of which caring is “cruel” (verse 9b) by comparison. Our strength is not for the strange woman and any children she might have (Proverbs 5:10a). Our labors are not for foreigners/strangers (verse 10b).
The horror of not hearing, Proverbs 5:12-14. After all of this warning, we might expect that the one who gave his heart and time to one who was not his wife would bemoan those actions on his deathbed. But while those actions contribute the agony in Proverbs 5:12-14, what he is specifically bewailing is the first error that ended him up there: not hearing. We should expect that without the humility urged in Proverbs 5:6-8, we will end up in the end-of-life horror in Proverbs 5:12-14. To understand this horror, we need to translate Proverbs 5:14 a bit more literally: “I was almost a total evil in the midst of the assembly and congregation.” A properly romancing husband and wife help one another worship God well in the assembly. But one who is romancing someone other than his wife tends to obsess in a way that doesn’t take a break for worship. If we are to evade such horrors, we must love instruction (Proverbs 5:12b), value correction (verse 12c), obey the voice of our teachers (Proverbs 5:13a), and incline our ear to those who instruct us (verse 13b). In a word, we need humility in order to be spared the horror that comes by not hearing.
Why do you need to hear instruction and correction? What part does humility play in this? With whom should you connect/interact romantically? What are God’s designs and purposes for your marriage?
Sample prayer: Lord, thank You for the sweetness, comfort, and fruitfulness of marriage according to Your design. Please give us the humility to listen to it, especially in the midst of a culture that glamorizes romance among those who are not betrothed or married. Indeed, give us humility to be correctable in every area that Your Word addresses. And bless our marriages and the whole of our life, we ask through Christ, AMEN!
Suggested songs: ARP45B “Daughter, Incline Your Ear” or TPH128B “Blest the Man That Fears Jehovah”
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