Authority, Love, and Christian Relationships [Family Worship lesson in Philemon vv8–25]

Why doesn’t Paul just command Philemon? Philemon vv8–25 prepares us for the second serial reading in public worship on the Lord’s Day. In these eighteen verses of Holy Scripture, the Holy Spirit teaches us that out of love for one another, believers love to stir one another up to love.(click here to DOWNLOAD mp3/pdf files of this lesson)

2023.12.14 Hopewell @Home ▫ Philemon vv8–25

Read Philemon vv8–25

Questions from the Scripture text: What might the apostle be (Philemon 8)? In Whom? To do what? What does he prefer over commanding (Philemon 9)? What three reasons does he add to his appeal? For whom does he appeal (what does he call him, Philemon 10)? What has happened to Onesimus and when? What had he been previously (Philemon 11a)? What is he like now (verse 11b)? What is the apostle doing with Onesimus (Philemon 12)? What does he now call him? What had the apostle wished (Philemon 13)? What did he desire Onesimus to do? Why didn’t Paul just keep him (Philemon 14)? Why, particularly, did the apostle want Philemon’s consent? What does the apostle suggest about Onesimus’s time with him (Philemon 15)? How does he urge Philemon to receive him (Philemon 16)? In what two ways? How else does he want Philemon to count him (Philemon 17)? What offer does he add in Philemon 18? What does the apostle begin doing in Philemon 19? What does he now promise? And remind Philemon? What is he asking him for, again in Philemon 20 (cf. Philemon 7)? Of what does the apostle have confidence (Philemon 21)? What else does Paul ask for (Philemon 22)? Why? Who sends greetings in Philemon 23? What does Paul title him? Who send them in Philemon 24? What does Paul call them? Who greets him in what way in Philemon 25? How does the apostle conclude the letter?

Why doesn’t Paul just command Philemon? Philemon 8–25 prepares us for the second serial reading in public worship on the Lord’s Day. In these eighteen verses of Holy Scripture, the Holy Spirit teaches us that out of love for one another, believers love to stir one another up to love.

Authority that appeals by love, Philemon 8-14. The apostle had the authority to command Philemon (Philemon 8). Setting Onesimus free is “fitting” (“proper,” or even “required”). But Paul loves Philemon (Philemon 9a, cf. Philemon 1) and desires that Philemon himself act out of love (cf. Philemon 5, Philemon 7). Let elders, husbands, fathers, and others in authority take note: the apostle sets the example of refraining from direct command in order to give the opportunity to act freely, from love. 

This is not to say that he doesn’t pile on the pressure. He appeals by their relationship (Philemon 9b). He appeals by his own age. He appeals by his status as a prisoner. He appeals by his own love for Onesimus (Philemon 10, Philemon 12), using tender terms of fatherhood and affection for having led him to the faith. He appeals by Onesimus’s conversion (Philemon 11). 

What the apostle does here, and how he pleads, many today would call “manipulative.” But all of these are proper considerations! It is fleshly and worldly to act only out of self-interest, and out of love for Philemon, Paul gives him many reasons to act not in self-interest but out of sacrificial love. This takes wisdom to apply well, but it is helpful for us to see that it is sometimes loving to motivate someone out of love, if we have good hope that it is there. 

Provoking genuine love is not manipulation (forcing them by our will) but liberation (sparking the freedom of their own will to do the good deed not under compulsion, but by the voluntary exercise of a loving heart). In a healthy and wisely-led home or church, there will be little need for the commands of the lesser authority, because the commands of Christ in Scripture will be more than enough to drive the loving hearts of those under authority to do what is right.

Believers never “lose” one another, Philemon 15-16. There really wasn’t much for Philemon to lose before. Onesimus having been “unprofitable” in Philemon 11 gives us a clue as to how Paul had run into him: Onesimus had run away (and probably robbed Philemon, as well, cf. Philemon 18). You can imagine Onesimus’s horror when he thinks he’s made his escape, but far from home, he runs into his master’s beloved friend who had brought his master to Christ. But soon, the Lord uses Paul to bring Onesimus to Christ. Now, Onesimus would be delighted to serve Paul but is also willing to be a profitable servant to Philemon as well (cf. Philemon 11). 

So Paul is sending Onesimus back (Philemon 12), asking that Philemon would immediately send Onesimus back to Paul. Wouldn’t this mean that Philemon would once again lose his slave? Not at all. Believers cannot permanently lose one another! What Onesimus had intended for evil (that Philemon would lose him for a while, Philemon 15a), the Lord had intended for good (that Philemon would receive him forever (verse 15b) as a beloved brother (Philemon 16). So now Philemon has Onesimus “back” both in the flesh and in the Lord. This is a great comfort for believers who have to say goodbye in this life. Even if we lose one another in the flesh, we will always have one another in the Lord. Believers never “lose” one another.

Believers love to refresh one another, Philemon 17-25. Philemon would be glad to be disadvantaged for Paul’s sake (Philemon 17-19), and the apostle now urges him to treat Onesimus in the same way. After all, Philemon loves to refresh the hearts of the saints (cf. Philemon 7), and now he has an opportunity to refresh Paul’s own heart by Onesimus (Philemon 20). Paul himself is hoping to be able to come (with Onesimus) back to Colossae and refresh Philemon (Philemon 22). And those who are with Paul are sending Philemon greetings (Philemon 23-24). Why do believers love to do this? Because we are being conformed to Christ! He Himself gives the final greeting by His apostle (Philemon 25). We do not have goodness and strength in ourselves to give to others, like Jesus does. But, we love to be used by Him to refresh one another, just as He loves to be gracious to us. 

How are you fostering and nourishing your own love for Christ and Christians? Whom have you refreshed recently? Whom do you have opportunity to refresh? What believers have you “lost” in this life? Why haven’t you lost them?

Sample prayer:  Lord, forgive us for how small is our love for one another. We have not loved to refresh one another like we ought to. And often we have had to have been ruled by the commands of authority rather than appeals to our affections. Please make us to be more like Paul and Philemon; indeed, make us to be more like Christ, from Whom true Christian love comes, we ask in His Name, AMEN!

 Suggested songs: ARP197 “Christian Unity” or TPH409 “Blest Be the Tie That Binds”

An Elder, Sharing the Faith With Household, Congregation, and Neighbor [Family Worship lesson in Philemon vv1–7]

What does it look like to labor for the Lord? Philemon vv1–7 prepares us for the second serial reading in public worship on the Lord’s Day. In these seven verses of Holy Scripture, the Holy Spirit teaches us that believers are prisoners, family, and coworkers of Jesus and one another. (click here to DOWNLOAD mp3/pdf files of this lesson)

2023.12.07 Hopewell @Home ▫ Philemon vv1–7

Read Philemon 1–7

Questions from the Scripture text: Who wrote this letter (Philemon 1a)? What is his current condition? Whose prisoner is he? Who else is with him? What other title do they have? Whom are they writing? What two titles do they give him? What other two individuals does he address (Philemon 2)? What does he call Archippus? What does he call their whole household? With what two things does he greet them in Philemon 3? From what two Persons? What does the apostle do for Philemon (Philemon 4b)? How does he think of him (verse 4a)? For what two things about Philemon is he thankful (Philemon 5)? Toward whom is this love first directed? And to whom else—how many of them? What does he pray about Philemon sharing of his faith (Philemon 6a)? How does he pray that this effectiveness would happen (verse 6b)? What two things do Paul and Timothy have from Philemon (Philemon 7)? How much joy? Comfort in what? What has Philemon done that the Lord has used to give this joy and comfort?

What does it look like to labor for the Lord? Philemon 1–7 prepares us for the second serial reading in public worship on the Lord’s Day. In these seven verses of Holy Scripture, the Holy Spirit teaches us that believers are displays of the good that is in Christ for redeemed sinners. 

Prisoners and Employees of Christ. Christians know themselves to be made in God’s image, and renewed into God’s image in Christ. It doesn’t trouble them at all to be slaves of Christ (cf. Romans 1:1, Philippians 1:1; Titus 1:1; James 1:1; 2 Peter 1:1; Jude 1:1) or, as the apostle says here (Philemon 1), prisoners of Christ. Belonging to Christ exalts, rather than denying, their imaging God. And they view men the same way, as created in God’s image. Indeed, they view believers all the more as in God’s image, having been into the glory of His image in Christ. They are never prisoners first or slaves first, but men first, and especially saints first. This is something that Paul has in common with Philemon. Philemon is a brother, beloved, and coworker (verse 1).

Lover of Christ and Christians. Philemon combines his first-great-commandment love for Jesus with second-great-commandment love for the saints (Philemon 5). Not just some saints, who are easier to like, more closely connected, or of the right status/class. ALL the saints! 

This is how Christ has transformed the law. Not a jot or tittle has been removed from it, but knowing Him as God directs the whole of Deuteronomy 6:4–5 toward Him. This is the foundation of what Jesus calls the New Commandment (cf. John 13:31–35). Just as loving our neighbor as ourself is a necessary consequence of our neighbor’s being made in the image of God, so also loving our brother as Christ loved the church is a necessary consequence of our brother’s being united to Christ.

Where did this good in Philemon come from? Christ Jesus Himself (end of Philemon 6). This is wonderful news for us, who would love to be described the way that Paul describes Philemon. We have access to the same resource, Christ Himself. Don’t you, dear reader, wish to refresh the hearts of the saints to such an extent that Christ’s eminent prisoners and laborers also have great joy and comfort just by hearing about this love (Philemon 7)? If that is your desire, then you may praise God that you know exactly where to obtain this: in Jesus Christ Himself. Indeed, attendance upon the means of grace is just as much personally motivated as an attendance upon Him Himself as it is motivated by obedience because He commands it.

Lover of Unbelieving Neighbor. Philemon shares his faith (Philemon 5a). “Sharing” here is a fellowship Word, not meaning exactly the same thing that we often mean when we talk about “sharing the faith”—primarily because the first audience with whom he shares it is actually the other believers in his own home and in the church at Colossae. But Paul here prays that the sharing of his faith would “become effectual.” We see in the passage that it is already quite effectual among the saints. So, we actually ought to conclude that Philemon has been laboring to see others brought into the fellowship of faith. In that way, his “sharing the faith” is quite similar to the way we use that language as a reference to evangelism.

Paul has been praying that the good that is in Philemon from Christ would be known in such a way that God would use to make the sharing of his faith even more effective (Philemon 5). Though unbelievers cannot have the good in them that Philemon had in him from Christ, Philemon’s Christ offers Himself freely to all. Evangelizing is telling good news about Jesus (not ourselves), and what He uses to give faith is His Word preached (not personal testimony, cf. Romans 10:8–17). But the good that He has produced in the evangelist is one of the things that Jesus uses to commend evangelism in those to whom He is making it effective. And even with our sharing the faith in the church, one of the things that God uses to make it effective to others is their observation of the good that is in us from Christ (cf. Hebrews 13:7).

Now, Paul is writing to Philemon in hope of being employed as part of the answer to his own prayer. He has an opportunity for Philemon to give sacrificially for the work of the gospel. And the Spirit has inspired his letter about it as Holy Scripture, so that we might receive the very words of Christ Jesus right along with Philemon. The Lord make us lovers of Himself, and of brother, and of neighbor. And the Lord produce good in us, which good He will use to make the sharing of our faith effective.

How do you experience/express joy at being Christ’s prisoner and slave? What neighbors do you need to value better as being created in God’s image? What is your plan for doing that? What fellow believers do you need to value better as being united to Christ? What is your plan for doing that? With what neighbors are you sharing the faith? With what brethren are you sharing the faith? How has the desire to see that sharing be effective driven you to bear more good fruit in/from Christ?

Sample prayer:  Lord, thank You for taking us as Your very own. Forgive us for when we have been so proud that we did not like to think of ourselves as being Your prisoner, Your laborer, or Your soldier. Forgive us for how little we share the faith with our neighbors. Forgive us for how little we share the faith, even with our brothers. Forgive us for when we have missed opportunities to refresh the hearts of the saints. Forgive us for when we have missed opportunities to thank You and praise You, by not observing every good thing that is in other brethren in Christ Jesus. For His sake, forgive us and sanctify us, we ask in His Name, AMEN!

 Suggested songs: ARP197 “Christian Unity” or TPH409 “Blest Be the Tie That Binds”