Read Proverbs 25:23–28
Questions from the Scripture text: What surely brings what (Proverbs 25:23a)? And what else surely brings what else (verse 23b)? What is better (Proverbs 25:24a)? Than what (verse 24b)? What is refreshing to whom (Proverbs 25:25a)? What else is refreshing to whom else (verse 25b)? Who (Proverbs 25:26a) is like what (verse 26b)? What is not good (Proverbs 25:27a)? What else is not good (verse 27b)? Who (Proverbs 25:28a) is what (verse 28b)?
What must we watch against, as a friend? Proverbs 25:23–28 looks forward to the midweek sermon. In these six verses of Holy Scripture, the Holy Spirit teaches us that we must watch against being a “friend” who is harmful rather than a blessing.
Don’t be a gossip. For them, the north wind (Proverbs 25:23a) was a welcome indicator that they would finally get the rain that they needed. And there is something much less welcome, but just as certain: gossip destroys relationships, changing the face from a smile to scowl (verse 23b). Our friend’s name must be safe in our mouth.
Don’t be contentious. There is no greater blessing than a good wife. But one who is always arguing, always nagging, always complaining, always criticizing… she performs a wonder: she transforms the corner of the housetop into a desirable place to dwell (Proverbs 25:24a). Ordinarily, the roof was pleasant to visit when the sun had gone down, to take advantage of a breeze. It was not a good place to be at all times, particularly in the heat and sun of the day. But, better to dwell there, than with contentiousness (verse 24b)!
Don’t be negative. Others’ souls are weary (Proverbs 25:25a). They need the cool water (verse 25a) of good news (verse 25b). There is an obvious and easy way to be one whose speech is like this: speak often of the Lord Himself, His character, His work, the gospel of His salvation, His promises. We have all known the one who always has a new bit of bad news. That just parches the weary soul all the more!
Don’t be spineless. The righteous man is a blessing to those around him, but this blessing becomes all the more urgent in the face of wickedness. The metaphor of a refreshing drink carries into Proverbs 25:26. If, when his righteousness is needed most, he falters instead (verse 26a), the “help” of his righteousness is corrupted. Can you imagine, going to take a sip from your water bottle and getting a mouthful of pond scum instead (verse 26b)? This is what it’s like when the righteous are spineless.
Don’t be self-promoting. Honey is a blessing. In many places, Scripture identifies it as both sweet and nourishing. But this is the second time in the space of 12 verses (Proverbs 25:27a, cf. Proverbs 25:16) that there is a caution against overindulging in it. Similarly, it is a blessing for those around us that we would have a good reputation. But a good reputation is that of a man who seeks God’s glory, rather than his own. Seeking one’s own glory brings not glory but shame (Proverbs 25:27b).
Don’t be self-indulgent. Finally, self-control is as necessary as a city wall for protection from a most dangerous enemy: the sinful inclinations of our own spirit. Cities are good for mutual defense, as long as the city wall is intact. But without it, the city goes from being a protection to a hazard, as all those people are now gathered into something of a kill-box. So also, friendships with the godly can be a help in defense against our own sin. But, if we are self-indulgent, instead of self-controlled, we increase one-another’s danger, rather than decreasing it.
We have focused on the sort of friend that we ought to be, but the passage is also very instructive for what sorts of friends to choose and to spend time with. And it is a reminder of what a great blessing it is that Jesus Christ has become, for us, the Friend Who sticks closer than a brother. Not only is He the perfect example of every virtue, and not only has His righteousness been counted for us, but He is genuinely our best Friend, and living in fellowship with Him is the way that, by His grace, we may be genuinely good friends to others.
Who are your friends? What sort of friend are you to them, by these standards? What sort of friends are they to you?
Sample prayer: Our gracious God and our heavenly Father, thank You for giving to us Your own Son, our Lord Jesus, to be the Friend Who sticks closer than a brother. Please grant that we would be friends such as He is, and that we would have friends such as He is, by His own grace in each of us, we ask in His Name, AMEN!
Suggested songs: ARP15 “Within Your Tent, Who Will Reside?” or TPH73B “Yes, God Is Good to Israel”