Lifesaving Discipline [Family Worship lesson in Proverbs 19:16–23]

What do godly parents hope for their children? Proverbs 19:16–23 looks forward to the midweek sermon. In these eight verses of Holy Scripture, the Holy Spirit teaches us that godly parents hope in God to bless their discipline and instruction, unto their children’s fearing YHWH, unto their life and joy. (click here to DOWNLOAD mp3/pdf files of this lesson) Summary of the transcript of the audio: This devotional presents a call to cultivate the fear of YHWH as the foundation of true life and lasting satisfaction. It emphasizes that obedience to divine instruction—applied by godly parenting—preserves the soul, while neglect leads to spiritual death. One example of this life is compassion for the poor, not as mere charity but as an act of reverence toward God’s image. The text underscores that genuine wisdom comes through heeding counsel and enduring discipline, especially in youth, as unchecked rebellion and indulgence lead to wrath and repeated consequences. Ultimately, the goal is a life trusting God’s eternal counsel, where even trials are received with joy under His providence, resulting in abiding satisfaction and freedom from evil’s grasp.

2025.12.01 Hopewell @Home ▫ Proverbs 19:16–23

Read Proverbs 19:16–23

Questions from the Scripture text: What does the one in v16a keep initially? And what does this cause him to keep? What is the opposite of doing this (v16b)? And what happens to that careless person? Upon whom does the man in v17a have pity? To Whom, ultimately, is he lending? What will He do (v17b)? What should one do with his son (v18a)? During what time? If he does not chasten his son, then upon what does he set his heart (v18b)? To what sort of man does v19a refer? What will happen to him? What does not actually help him (v19b)? What must a son do (v20a)? Unto what end (v20b)? What is he tempted to hope will be implemented (v21a)? But what will actually win out (v21b)? What does the poor man desire for you to be (v22a, cf. v17a)? To whom is he superior (v22b)? What leads to what end (v23a)? In what condition (v23b)? Unmarred by what (v23c)?

What do godly parents hope for their children? Proverbs 19:16–23 looks forward to the midweek sermon. In these eight verses of Holy Scripture, the Holy Spirit teaches us that parents hope in God to bless their discipline and instruction, unto their children’s fearing YHWH, unto their life and joy.  

This section continues to build on what a man can get from his father, which we have in the previous passage. And you remember that, especially when it came to the obtaining of a wife, What a man receives from his father is a subset of what he receives from God. This passage follows up on that, and it's bookended by two statements, presenting this as a matter of life (v23) and death (v16).

As a father gives the instruction of the Lord (cf. Eph 6:4), his children learn to obey God by obeying dad (v16a). In this way, they come into the life-giving fear of YHWH (v23a). And not just life, but fullness of joy (v23b) and absence of harm (v23c). There's nothing that a father should want for his children more than that they would have life, with abiding satisfaction, and not be harmed at all—i.e. that his children would fear YHWH.

The fear of YHWH is displayed when you do good in situations where no one but YHWH will repay you (v17)—when someone is kind to the poor (v17a, 22a) and tells the truth (v22b). For this fear, discipline is necessary (v18a), because we are wrathful by nature (v19, cf. Eph 6:4). Without discipline, a child will remain foolish (v22) and be destroyed (v18b). Discipline brings us into submission to YHWH’s will (v21b), rather than trying to exert our own (v21a).

For the parent, this knowledge makes it a matter of the heart. v18b is sobering; to fail to discipline isn’t just to be lazy or naïve; it is to set your heart on your child’s destruction. Parenting isn’t just a matter of habits, but of the heart. There is a window of hope (v18a) that threatens to slip away.

If they don't receive counsel and instruction, then they will continue to be fools, and they will continue to need discipline. And once they get out of the season of life in which discipline will help, they will bring themselves more and more under the punishment and wrath of God. The goal is that by the time the child comes into the next season of life, he will be wise (v20). Thus, he will come to receive everything happily under the providence of God, in the fear of God; and, even those things that others experience as evil, he will know to be for his good in God’s mercy to him.

What is your attitude toward disciplining children? What is your attitude toward being disciplined by the Lord? How can you tell what value you are placing upon fearing Him? What sort of life are you hoping to obtain?

Sample prayer:  Father, thank You for not setting Your heart on our destruction, but giving Christ for us. And then giving us Your word by Your Spirit, Who uses it to bring us to Christ and to grow us in Christ. We pray that Your Spirit would do so, even with this passage that we have just heard. For we ask it in Jesus's Name, Amen!

Suggested songs: ARP184 “Adoration and Submission” or TPH131B “Not Haughty Is My Heart”