Read Proverbs 19:16–23
Questions from the Scripture text: What does the one in Proverbs 19:16a keep initially? And what does this cause him to keep? What is the opposite of doing this (verse 16b)? And what happens to that careless person? Upon whom does the man in Proverbs 19:17a have pity? To Whom, ultimately, is he lending? What will He do (verse 17b)? What should one do with his son (Proverbs 19:18a)? During what time? If he does not chasten his son, then upon what does he set his heart (verse 18b)? To what sort of man does Proverbs 19:19a refer? What will happen to him? What does not actually help him (verse 19b)? What must a son do (Proverbs 19:20a)? Unto what end (verse 20b)? What is he tempted to hope will be implemented (Proverbs 19:21a)? But what will actually win out (verse 21b)? What does the poor man desire for you to be (Proverbs 19:22a, cf. Proverbs 19:17a)? To whom is he superior (Proverbs 19:22b)? What leads to what end (Proverbs 19:23a)? In what condition (verse 23b)? Unmarred by what (verse 23c)?
What do godly parents hope for their children? Proverbs 19:16–23 looks forward to the midweek sermon. In these eight verses of Holy Scripture, the Holy Spirit teaches us that parents hope in God to bless their discipline and instruction, unto their children’s fearing YHWH, unto their life and joy.
This section continues to build on what a man can get from his father, which we have in the previous passage. And you remember that, especially when it came to the obtaining of a wife, What a man receives from his father is a subset of what he receives from God. This passage follows up on that, and it's bookended by two statements, presenting this as a matter of life (Proverbs 19:23) and death (Proverbs 19:16).
As a father gives the instruction of the Lord (cf. Ephesians 6:4), his children learn to obey God by obeying dad (Proverbs 19:16a). In this way, they come into the life-giving fear of YHWH (Proverbs 19:23a). And not just life, but fullness of joy (verse 23b) and absence of harm (verse 23c). There's nothing that a father should want for his children more than that they would have life, with abiding satisfaction, and not be harmed at all—i.e., that his children would fear YHWH.
The fear of YHWH is displayed when you do good in situations where no one but YHWH will repay you (Proverbs 19:17)—when someone is kind to the poor (verse 17a, Proverbs 19:22a) and tells the truth (verse 22b). For this fear, discipline is necessary (Proverbs 19:18a), because we are wrathful by nature (Proverbs 19:19, cf. Ephesians 6:4). Without discipline, a child will remain foolish (Proverbs 19:22) and be destroyed (Proverbs 19:18b). Discipline brings us into submission to YHWH’s will (v21b), rather than trying to exert our own (Proverbs 19:21a).
For the parent, this knowledge makes it a matter of the heart. Proverbs 19:18b is sobering; to fail to discipline isn’t just to be lazy or naïve; it is to set your heart on your child’s destruction. Parenting isn’t just a matter of habits, but of the heart. There is a window of hope (verse 18a) that threatens to slip away.
If they don't receive counsel and instruction, then they will continue to be fools, and they will continue to need discipline. And once they get out of the season of life in which discipline will help, they will bring themselves more and more under the punishment and wrath of God. The goal is that by the time the child comes into the next season of life, he will be wise (Proverbs 19:20). Thus, he will come to receive everything happily under the providence of God, in the fear of God; and, even those things that others experience as evil, he will know to be for his good in God’s mercy to him.
What is your attitude toward disciplining children? What is your attitude toward being disciplined by the Lord? How can you tell what value you are placing upon fearing Him? What sort of life are you hoping to obtain?
Sample prayer: Father, thank You for not setting Your heart on our destruction, but giving Christ for us. And then giving us Your word by Your Spirit, Who uses it to bring us to Christ and to grow us in Christ. We pray that Your Spirit would do so, even with this passage that we have just heard. For we ask it in Jesus's Name, Amen!
Suggested songs: ARP184 “Adoration and Submission” or TPH131B “Not Haughty Is My Heart”
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